Less than Hero

As Marvel and DC mine ever deeper pockets of their canon, we shine a light on some of the lesser-spotted comic book characters they might eventually get round to featuring.

super moby dick of space, the (dc)

First (and only) appearance Adventure Comics #332, May 1965

Description Not actually a whale at all, The Super Moby Dick of Space was originally a small fish that was accidentally enlarged and then fled to the cosmos, before being dispatched by Superboy and The Legion of Super-heroes, never to return.

Movie odds The more we read about him, actually, the more likely we think it is. 12/1.

the acidic jew (top cow)

First appearance Common Grounds #3, April 2004

Description Featuring in three issues of Common Grounds, a comedically-tinged mini-series about a coterie of superheroes who frequent the coffee shop of the title, Moshe Chomsky was a Hasidic rabbi who had the unfortunate ability to dissolve any matter he touched.

Movie odds Though crafted half in jest, we feel like this would likely prove too problematic for contemporary sensibilities. 5/1.

marrow (marvel)

First appearance Cable #15, July 1994

Description Conceived in the mid-90s hellscape of weirdly graphic X-Men comics, Marrow is a woman with the unlikely and questionably desirable ability to grow bones at will and throw them as daggers at her enemies.

Movie odds Compared to the other entries on this list, Marrow has some marketable sex appeal, so it’s probably only a matter of time before she’s slinging her skeletal shards on the silver screen. Somebody throw those film producers a bone! (geddit?) 5/2.

egg fu (dc)

First (and only) appearance Wonder Woman #157, October 1965

Description If a 100-foot-tall, sentient, communist egg stretches credulity a bit too much for modern sensibilities, consider that Egg Fu – who is, indeed, all four of the above things – is also a grossly offensive Asian stereotype.

Movie odds Since he comes complete with yellowface features and Fu Manchu facial hair – and is, we must repeat, a 100-foot-tall communist egg – we think we can agree this one will never see a big screen outing in the current climate. 1,000/1.

matter-eater lad (dc)

First appearance Adventure Comics #303, December 1962

Description Almost a byword for terrible comic book characters at this stage, Matter-Eater Lad – who can eat any object, and thus ends his list of abilities – has a long and storied history in DC Comics, despite having the most first-draft name of all time.

Movie odds Since beginning work on this entry, it has been pointed out to us that Matter-Eater Lad was actually featured in several DC cartoons and had his live action debut in HBO Max’s Peacemaker series earlier this year so we are forced to cry mea culpa and give this 11/10 for the inevitable three-hour cinematic treatment it merits.